Nothing is open today. It's a church holiday. And when I say nothing is open, I mean nothing is open. Not the bakeries, not the shopping centers, not the supermarkets, not the kiosks. Everything is closed to celebrate the Assumption of Mary. (So I'm mass-posting what I haven't posted yet, and I'm thinking it be Accension, but what do I know?)
My mom dragged me back to church today. I don't mind going to church Sundays (or sometimes Saturdays, if we can't make it Sunday). Perhaps if we were in the States, I wouldn't mind going a second morning in a row. But as it happens, we're not in the States. I don't understand a thing anyone says at church, and the mass is twice as long as the ones back home. During the summer, anyway.
It's just so...well, awkward to stand there, not singing and not saying what you're supposed to be saying because you can't. Someone may as well stick a brightly lit neon sign over my head that reads FOREIGNER, with a helpful and painfully yellow arrow pointing straight to me.
Yesterday I said that church is a great place for thinking, and I still stand by that. But yesterday I had hours of time for thinking while everyone around me spoke Polish and I smiled and nodded and exchanged a few words with people who spoke broken English and had excruciatingly awkward conversations with the one uncle who did speak English (see the boyfriend bit from yesterday).
At first, I just thought about how I would update my Facebook status when I got internet, like a cool kid. Then I wondered if saying my mom would kill me for having a boyfriend would butcher my social standing in High School. It's not that I care so much about being popular. Truly, I just don't want people to hate me. I'd say I have a fairly thick skin from the time I've spent on FFN, and I think I could easily handle anyone who hated me in the real world, but it'd just be easier if no one did, you know? They can think I'm crazy or weird or a geek/dork/nerd (I happen to be all three) or whatever, but it'd be ncie if they didn't hate me. And, you know. Having a boyfriend. That'd be nice. XD Just ignore my teenage ramblings, bro.
I have now promptly forgotten what I wanted to say next, like a boss. I was trying to write my blog post throughout the day so I wouldn't forget these things, but nope. Not working out.
EDIT: I wanted to say that then I started thinking that church was great for thinking, but then you run out of things to think about and you think that church is too good of a place for thinking and it's only a place that you should do some serious thinking in, or else you just putter out. Then a bunch of people coughed almost all at once, and it was like they were telling the priest that his homily was too long, but he didn't stop for another good ten minutes.
Later, my mom and I are going to go feed seagulls on the beach. The weather turned out to b--
I just took a break to go to the bathroom, and I think it's crucial that you know I put my underwear on inside-out this morning. Cool story, I know.
--e cloudy and drizzly, which is just our luck. At least I know for sure that I'll be getting internet access at some time today because I have to tell my sister that my godmother (her aunt) will be picking her up from the airport so that she doesn't have to pay the crazy taxi fare. My mom and I paid nearly seventy zloty for our cab ride.
Now I just feel like-- hold on, I remembered what wanted to say earlier. Going to go edit that in.
As I was just saying, now I kind of just feel like rambling. Talking to my blog is easy, because I can never be sure if people are reading it or not. I wouldn't give the URL to my family members or anything, and it might be kind of awkward and also wicked cool if people I didn't know that well from school read it, but talking to the internet is nice, simple. It's silly to share so much, maybe. In fact, it's almost like when Mr. Weasley told Ginny that you should never talk to something that talks back if you can't see where it's brain is. Is that a bad omen? Because then my life is going to fall to shit.
It's not like I walk into a forum proclaiming that, "My name is [CENSORED FOR BEING TOO SEXY] and that I live at [CENSORED FOR BEING TOO SEXY] in [CENSORED FOR BEING TOO SEXY]."* I'll probably give out my age, and eventually I might let loose my first name and the state I live in if I trust the people enough, but I don't think I tell people too much. I don't know how much information a stalker/murderer/pedophile needs to find me, and maybe they all know where I live, but I don't believe my internet friends are stalkers/murderers/pedophiles, and they've been the best friends I've ever had regardless. See, that's one of those things that would be awkward to say if my IRL friends were reading this. 0D
Well, anyway, lately I've been thinking a lot about High School. I want to be the person I am on the internet when I start school in September. I can be that person around my friends, but it's harder around people I don't know well. I'm awkward** and stumbly and shy when I'm not with at least one other person I'm on fairly good terms with. I already have an outfit planned for the first day (like a boss, and if I may say so myself, it's quite hot) because I'm just that kind of over-prepared person. I want High School to be good for me. Everyone says it's way better than Middle School, which I firmly believe, and it may not be the best four years of my life, but I want it to be nice.
I'm sure you've all lost interest now. I'm going to close the laptop and write more later, hopefully with less sentimental crap and personal feelings.
Sitting on the windowsill, thinking about life.
Haha, not really. I was reading The Catcher in the Rye, occasionally looking up to covet the person I can see on a computer in one of the other houses. Then I was wondering if they were one of the houses with the internet that doesn't have a password, and that them being online would let me be online. I managed to connect to something for a second, but with no internet access. Urgrumph.
The moment I left the house with my mom, it started drizzling. Then it held up for a bit. We fed some seagulls and then began to head for the pier because some guy had been feeding pidgeons there the other day. Then it started drizzling again, which then progressd to pouring. Vacation, yay.
So then we walked back through the pouring, then the drizzling, then the nothing. Then I played some Pokemon and took a nap, because being this awesome is tiring. When I woke up, I thought my mom said it was 9:30, and it was sunny, so I bumbled around for a minute before she yelled for lunch. Turned out to be 2:30. I read for a bit more and now my grandmother and godmother are over. As it happens, my sister already contacted my godmother, so it isn't crucial that I get internet access. Raeg. Now it's drizzling on my laptop, and if it's my luck, I'll get internet when it's raining via a network I can only connect to when I'm outside.
It's cold.
It must be boring to listen to me wangst about not speaking Polish and not having internet and how the weather is bad even though I'm in freaking Europe and should just appreciate that. I highly doubt anyone is reading this, though. Or closely, anyway. This monster post is just a mass of boring and teenage angst.
"He didn't have sex with the prostitute? What kind of book is this?"
The internet is my crack. Give it back.
By the way, the kiosk down the street sells porn magazines right next to the toys for kids. America is such a prude compared to the European countries I've been to. A German furniture-and-things catalog had a porno calander for sale in it.
I'm excited for my sister to get here, but when she does, I won't be able to open the window in her room like a door and sit there, feet dangling over the balcony, like I am right now. I like this place.
If anything else exciting happens, I'll fill you in later. Otherwise, I'll just put in the Pokemon stats tonight.
--
Yeah, not much else happened. Played Pokemon while sitting in my favorite place on the windowsill, gathering weird looks from the locals. Watched the goodnight program for kids on TV. Ate. Played more Pokemon. Oh, so glamorous. Also imagined situations involving the High School and my FFN friends, which ended up being quite hilarious and some good entertainment.
PoKEMON StATS
Hours played: 31 hours and 1 minute
Current team:
- Emboar, 58
- Zebstrika, 54
- Vanilluxe, 50
- Garbodor,41
- Swanna, 38
- Sawsbuck, 38
Badges: 8
*I think that's how I'm going to introduce myself at forums from now on.
**I'm beginning to overuse this word, aren't I? My second best friend (the thesaurus) isn't with me, so try to ignore that little detail, yes?
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